| Accurate locus of control, limiting inappropriate self-blame | 12 | [24,25] |
“And just sort of developmental milestones in your kid, too, and feeling like things are on pace. Because it’s hard to disaggregate what you’re doing from what you’re seeing even though not―not that we’re irrelevant, but not everything that you see in your child is a direct result of things that you’ve done.”
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| Attitude towards learning and adjustment | 28 | [26,27,28,29] |
“Knowing that, yeah, I can do this. It’s going to be a pain in the butt. It sounds like a lot of things, but what am I going to do? Never drive in the car with her? It’s something I have to do, so put on your big girl pants and let’s do this.”
“Flexibility. It changes almost daily sometimes and you have to be able to go with the flow.”
“You might have shitty days, but it gets better.”
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| Bond with baby | 16 | [30,31] |
“Some people actually go somewhere else with their baby just to have their one-on-one time. Me, nobody come in my room. Close the door, lock it, and I need some time. I shoo everybody away. Even the phone. I’ll put it on vibrate. I don’t want to hear it ringing, so I can pay attention … My determination to have my bonding time because I feel like babies grow so fast. It’s a month already and it felt like yesterday. I have to be present if I don’t want to miss anything. So I have to learn him, his cues, what faces he make, what they mean. There’s certain cries. He has a certain cry for certain things … I have to learn all this, so I need to pay attention. So I need my time, so I’m determined.”
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| Child temperament | 27 | [32] |
“I mean we’ve had I’d say only on three occasions but they were traumatic and embedded in our memory where she cried for like 45 min straight and I mean it’s so wearing. It’s the worst thing … like what you use to torture people.”
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| Emotion regulation | 29 | [33,34] |
“I think in preparation for parenthood, I got into mindfulness and meditation, and so that really helped me sort of find space and calmness and ways to just breathe through any stressors or tension, and sort of reassure myself that all the moments are manageable.”
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| Financial and material resources | 21 | [23,35,36] |
“I mean, I think the biggest is resources financially and help because it’s like I don’t know how people who don’t have any help or don’t have the financial means to get the help could even attempt to take care of the kids and take care of themselves and the household and if they work … I just think that’s the biggest thing.”
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| Gaining firsthand experience with parenting activities | 24 | [37,38,39] |
“Just the experience of taking care of the kids and it comes naturally … each child is different, but you learn more as you work with them.”
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| Giving oneself credit for successes | 16 | [40,41] |
“It’s hard for people to give themselves positive feedback. So when I do have a meeting or hangout, so with one or two moms, you don’t hear as many positive statements about, “Oh, I’m doing a great job.”
“So give yourself some grace and knowing by yourself that you’re doing a good job, even if you don’t feel it at the time.”
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| Insufficient time for task demands | 26 | [42] |
“Lack of time. Trying to pump through times during the day with―we have a very set schedule as a physical therapist. So it’s like you’ll see a patient here, here, and here. You have an hour break, an hour break, and when you’re spending 20 min, there’s no time for that sometimes. And I’m very social, so. I feel like I have to shut myself down sometimes to get everything done.”
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| Internal aspects of engagement with social support | 27 (totals aggregated from subthemes) |
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Ability to be vulnerable with social support
| 7 | [43] |
“Just being really open. Almost grossly open of describing what’s going on with your body and just stuff like that, so... Or being able to open up, just about my self-doubt and those things that I had been feeling that kind of felt dark or they’re not the most pleasant thing to talk to people about, but being able to do that.”
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Ability to trust others to take care of baby
| 15 | [44] |
“Having somebody that you trust to leave the baby is very important because then you’re not stressing out the whole time about like, ‘Oh, what the baby is going to do?’ It’s not crying the whole time. So that’s really the most important thing.”
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Comfort with asking for help and accepting help
| 20 | [43,45,46,47] |
“Sometimes I don’t reach out when I should and that could probably get in the way. Because then, I have the extra help but then I don’t reach out for it. And then, I start to get frustrated and not being able to take care of myself. And then, the emotions start to come … because sometimes I feel like I can do everything on my own and then I can’t.”
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Communication skill
| 15 | [48,49,50] |
“Most definitely communication, because as long as you got somebody next to you and you can communicate, ‘Listen, I need your help because I need to adjust a little bit more. I need you to help me get this schedule together, I need you to help me do this because …’ you just have to talk about it and you have to get it out. You have to.”
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Recognizing one’s limits and identifying when help is necessary
| 16 | [27,39] |
“Sometimes you get in your own way by saying I can do everything and then some and then it’s just way too much.”
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| Keeping baby in a routine | 14 | [51] |
“I think the knowing that both of my children are content, and we’re prepared for the next day, and knowing that they’re feeling well, and I’m not anticipating disrupted sleep or those sort of things which, I think, I have been able to really establish through a really good routine with them. So I’m able to sort of feel that calm at the end of the day.”
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| Knowledge access | 26 | [52,53,54] |
“My working knowledge of being able to take care of my baby, and having the resources if I needed it with lactation or being able to call my pediatrician if anything is wrong. And then also just having my family there as backup just in case. Because they’ve had babies, so they kind of have experience in certain things.”
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| Maintaining aspects of life outside of parenting | 14 | [55,56] |
“I would say don’t cancel out all the things that you were doing before because I know you’re busy, and you have a newborn, and you’re trying to focus on it, but try to remember some of the things that you used to like doing before you had the baby. If it’s listening to music or reading a book or something like that because my husband, he literally told me, ‘I wish you would go out with your friends [laughter].’ Because during the nine months, I stayed by myself, and now that I had the baby, I’m still doing it. And he was like, ‘No, it’s not good for you. You need to go out and socialize with people.’ So try not to close off because when you close off from people, you don’t notice it, but your moods change when you get around people.”
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| Mother’s self-knowledge | 20 | [57] |
“I guess just knowing yourself too, and knowing what do you need to do to keep yourself mentally in a good place.”
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| Physical home environment | 15 | [58] |
“I can say that I have what I have, but it’s not stable. It’s not a stable situation. So it’s like, let’s say―I can be in this situation that I can be kicked out today or tomorrow and I won’t have nowhere. I’ll have to figure that out like fast. And that’s something that I don’t ever want to happen.”
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| Prioritization of self-care | 24 | [59] |
“On one side, you feel that it feels good because finally, after a long time, then you’re doing something for yourself, and you know that it’s good for the baby as well because it might help you to get happier and less stressed. And on the other side, then you kind of feel guilty because you’re just taking time away from your baby.”
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| Sleep and fatigue | 22 | [60,61,62,63] |
“Energy, which … There’s only so much stamina that one person can sustain, right? Before it’s, you’re just too tired. And I find in life, there aren’t hours to do it. There’s just literally sometimes—a depleted resource or energy. Where you’re just, ‘all I can do is sit on this couch.’ And I feel like there’s so many things I could be doing that are among my life goals, but I just cannot make my brain want to do those things right now.”
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| Social pressures | 18 | [64] |
“We just recently, for example, just switched her out of her bassinet. And I didn’t want to talk to anybody about it. Because I felt like we had already left her in there. Our in-laws were complaining that she’s too big for it like a month ago. She’s fine. I think it worked. And then I didn’t want to tell anybody that we were using. I was afraid what they’re going to say.”
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| Strategic planning and time management | 27 | [65] |
“I’m also very organized. I mean, I’ve always been a planner, but I would say I’m more so organized now, keeping lists, things like that; things that I need to do on a daily, weekly basis; maintaining schedules for the girls in the morning, afternoon, evening, specifically bedtime now.”
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| Support from others | 30 (totals aggregated from subthemes) |
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Emotional support
| 28 | [66,67,68,69] |
“Yeah. I think someone to talk to is the biggest one. Because I just―I don’t know. I had so many doubts and whether I was doing the right thing or not or trying to figure out the right thing to do for a lot of different scenarios. So yeah, just helped me to be able to talk about that to somebody.”
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Encouragement of mother’s self-care by social support
| 15 | [70,71] |
“Getting out. Going to a yoga class once a week. I would just come home a totally different person. I’m very frugal and I don’t spend money on those things and my husband was like, “You need to go to that every week. You just come home refreshed … it’s good for you.”
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Engaged social network
| 26 | [45,72] |
“My mom. She’s just a helpful person. And she has six grandkids so she’s just like, ‘Oh, do you need any help? I’m coming over. I’m going to help you do this,’ I’m like, ‘Okay.’ I’m like, ‘That is fine.’ I’m like, ‘I don’t get to worry about all this alone anymore.’ And she just helped me out. She’s a big help.”
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Hands on support with childcare and home management
| 30 | [45,66,73] |
“In my opinion, the most important thing is other human resources. So whether it’s a partner or someone else who’s available to do those things. Because if you can’t have someone else taking care of your child, you can’t do anything separate from your child to take care of yourself. So I think that’s huge, and just from some talks to other moms, people who are really struggling, it often seems like that was the tension. Like a partner who works a lot, or family that is far away … no matter how capable you are, at some point you just can’t, and you need someone else to change a diaper or get up in the middle of the night, feed a bottle. You just can’t … And people who don’t have as much of that really end up at their wits’ end.”
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Partner-specific support
| 18 | [74,75,76,77,78] |
“For me, it’s just that my partner is just awesome, and he’s just super supportive … So, yeah. He knows that we’re a team, and he’s very appreciative of the parent that I am and everything.”
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| Taking breaks and getting out of the house | 24 | [73] |
“My mother-in-law takes the baby in the morning and then I get her back at 12:00 noon, then she’s happy, she’s fed, she’s changed and she took a good nap too. So then when she comes back, she’s all good and I’m able to have that time with her where I’m not like, ‘Oh, why don’t you go to sleep? I fed you an hour ago and now, you want me to feed you again’, and stuff like that.”
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| Understanding baby | 25 | [79,80] |
“I know when he’s tired. I know when he’s mean. I know when he don’t want to be bothered. I just know. I know my son. My daughter will tell me in a minute that there’s nothing wrong with her, but I know when something’s wrong with her. So I know my children very well. That’s why I communicate with them in the way that I do.”
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| Workplace flexibility and understanding | 23 | [81,82,83] | “So I think on the work side, it’s very important to have an environment that is supportive. So your boss and the organization you’re working for, being supported is very important. Because in the beginning, you’re just trying to figure out this new motherhood thing, so―having somebody that supports you really helps you, not just practically but also psychologically.” |