| Jobs and finances | Concerns around employment | This theme incorporates both psychological and physical uncertainties participants express about the patient’s ability to return to work and the relative importance of that |
I’ve got to take the bull by the horns and go back to work and see what I can do and what I can’t do P71 F44 yrs.
It’s the worst thing possible for somebody like me to be sitting back doing nothing. I just can’t do it. I just can’t put up...I can’t do it. That’s why I’m wanting to get better so I can get myself working again. P30 M79 yrs |
| Loss of earnings | Naturally linked to concerns around employment, participants express specific concerns about supporting their family and their own financial future if they or their loved one are unable to work |
We’ve spent some of our savings, I’ve had to dip into them, and I can’t replenish them because I don’t earn enough money now. P44 M54 yrs.
I used to manage because there was always overtime there, and we managed as a family. But now I just think, oh my God. P57 F53 yrs |
| Perceived financial position | Financial security is an important moderator of concerns for the future. Participants who feel secure are mindful of the stress for others less fortunate |
We are extremely lucky, we do know that because at least we can still earn an income and we don’t have the financial worries that some people have to have. P43 F61 yrs.
Being the only one responsible for a house, finances are so important. Um, and I know, as far as I can tell at the minute, I shall be on my own once mum and dad are gone, so to be able to be financially secure is very, very important. C37 F58 yrs |
| Relationships and communication | Patient-caregiver relationship and communication | Here, participants discuss supporting each other and the different approaches they employ to maintain ordinary, routine relationships. Sometimes this means trying to protect the other individual by not openly discussing concerns |
I couldn’t manage without him. There’s two of us, we’re a team. P20 F69 yrs.
We never really talked too much about it. He would say you must tell me everything that you’re feeling so I can help, but I didn’t because I knew it would worry him too much, and he’d be panicking P12 F64 yrs.
I’m not exaggerating but it is overwhelming. It’s obviously more overwhelming for her than it is for anybody else but it is overwhelming because it’s all consuming and everything is, as far as she’s concerned, it’s all narrowed in on cancer and looking at whether it’s diet, exercise, you name it. C12 M66 yrs |
| Prevalence of cancer conversation | Within this sub-theme, participants describe being exhausted by the ‘cancer conversation’ but not being able to talk about anything else |
I don’t think there’s probably a time when we don’t mention it P35 F55 yrs.
Yes, I think probably from the fact that you don’t want to spend the whole time talking about it, and by that I really say [my wife] doesn’t want to. And I tend to now think of sentences that I will use that are implying ‘thank you for enquiring but don’t worry’, if you know what I mean, so that they’ve been nice to ask, they are concerned, but let’s not dwell on it. C20 M70 yrs.
As much as I love them all, it is a bit tiring, every time something new happens I think, oh I’ve got to make phone calls, I’ve got to text, and you’re repeating yourself all the time. It’s a very selfish thing, but it’s tiring, so tiring, to a point where I forget who I’ve told. P18 M51 yrs |
| Family dynamics | Here, participants talk about family function, support, the need to protect loved ones and concerns for their future |
I say to people, cancer doesn’t define you as a person, I wouldn’t let it ever take me down, there’s not a chance, I’m still me and I will always be me, but it definitely changes the whole relationship, the house, the family and the dynamics of everything. P28 F50 yrs.
Well your children obviously matter, matter probably more than anything in the world, that they’re happy […] that I’m prepared, they’re prepared that I might go early because I know especially two out of the three it’s going to really impact them hard. P35 F55 yrs |
| Implications for the future | Changes in outlook, realigning priorities | This is a very positive subtheme, characterised by participants taking stock of their lives and making adjustments, realising what is actually important to them and taking steps to maximise time spent with family, for example, conscious of the precious nature of time |
But I think at the end of it I’ll look back on it and I’ll be like thank god for it. I’ll be like thank god that happened because it has made me stronger and it has made me more knowledgeable and more understanding C57 F19 yrs.
You realise what’s important actually and that recruitment job’s not really important actually in the scheme of things you know so in the scheme of things the most important things are probably you know you realise your family, friends, spending time and and stuff like that so. Yeah, my outlook on life’s different. You know, and what I want out of life actually C35 F32 yrs |
| Life on hold | Participants feel in limbo, unable to move forward and uncertain how to proceed. For caregivers, this can be linked to feelings of guilt for thinking about their own future |
I think career aspect-wise I am putting that on hold. There’s no way I can get a … would want to really start a career that I really do enjoy with this over my head. C62 M23 yrs.
I suppose the mistake that I think I have made is I kept trying… It’s like I kept waiting for a difficult period to end so I could reinsert my previous bodily life back in, rather than actually just trying to adapt to this mayhem that I find myself in. I think that’s probably the mistake I’ve made. C5 F41 yrs |
| Opportunities lost | Participants describe the things they feel cancer has stopped them from doing or achieving and the subsequent sense of loss they experience |
I’ve had no retirement, all the things I would like to do I can’t do. I mean, I would have loved a little dog, I can’t take a dog on, not in this situation, it wouldn’t be fair. But places I’d like to go to visit, all of that I feel has gone, and that’s quite hard to deal with. My life’s become quite small, I suppose. P9 F64 yrs.
I don’t think I really wanted kids, but if I had have done, between mum being sick and [my sister] I’ve gone from 36 to 42. You know, all these things just sort of whizz past and you lose. C5 F41 yrs |
| Not planning for the future | Here participants talk about the inability to plan for both small and large events resulting in a life lived day by day |
Every day I wake up and think “Jesus I’ve got cancer, there’s no cure for it” but as much as maybe I’m even more accepting of that nowadays and I realise that I must enjoy the present and I do do that. But I’m aware of what’s around the corner potentially P17 M59 yrs.
Because it is just like a big cloud hanging over the top P71 F44 yrs |
| Mortality and death | Uncertainty impacts all aspects of life but underpinning this is the patient’s health and how long it can be maintained |
He took a caveman attitude, she’s going to die, she’s going to leave me, what am I going to do? I’m going to put up this barrier so nobody is going to get to me. But he gradually learnt okay, I’ve got this illness but it doesn’t mean to say I’m going tomorrow. P43 F61 yrs.
There is no point waiting and thinking we will do that in two years’ time, we will do that in five years’ time because actually no we need to do it now C44 F53 yrs |
| Managing uncertainty | Control | Participants link the uncertainty of the situation with feelings of a lack of control. Linked to preserving normality, they describe the importance of not allowing cancer to control their lives |
While ever I can keep strong I am in control of it […] I think it’s very important because I don’t want to feel that it’s getting the better of me, I want to be in control of it, which of course you can’t be, but I do try P9 F64 yrs.
I am trying to be controlled because if I allowed myself to open up to whatever pathway is going to be his destination then I think I would be overwhelmed […] I think if you let yourself look, and then you think the grandkids won’t see their granddad, and you can’t, that’s not healthy, so I don’t look C44 F53 yrs |
| Preservation of or return to normality | Trying to maintain ‘normal’ activities as a mechanism to cope with the unpredictable situation participants find themselves in |
My priority, in a nutshell, is living life day to day as it’s always been. I don’t make too much room for this, I don’t want to make room for it, I just want to carry on living our lives as we’ve always lived them until such time as we’re presented with a set of situations that precludes that. That’s my priority, is to keep living our lives as they’ve always been. C46 F65 yrs.
I think you’ve got to, within reason, you’ve got to carry on with your own life otherwise I think that leads to trouble frankly. As things progress, the disease is not going to go away, clearly as things progress that will change but as we stand at the moment, that’s what I believe. C12 M66 yrs |
| Hope | Hope is more passive than the previous two themes. Participants note the insecurity of their position but rather than take active steps to manage it they place their faith in external forces, such as science, doctors, luck and occasionally God |
If you can also meet people, like I often have in the chemo unit, they will ask me what I’ve been through, ‘Oh how can you have done that?’ I say well you’ve just got to say the longer you live more might come up in experiments, and that you can have. P12 F64 yrs.
Hopefully we caught it early and that’s why, because when I had this mole cut out and it went to here that’s when I first went to see [the consultant], and she said you will be with me for a long time, and I am now, ages. P44 M54 yrs |
| Mindset | Linked to the three previous themes, participants describe facets of their disposition which determine how they approach their tenuous situation |
When you get told you’ve got cancer you know you’re going to die, so just it all depends what you want to do with your life. You can sit and wallow in it, or you can get on with your life and just live your life basically. P15 M68 yrs.
We were determined that we were not going to be beaten by this, well not easily, I know it will catch us in the end but we’ll go down fighting. C28 M51 yrs |