"It ain't necessarily so"... Challenging mainstream thinking about bereavement.

Traditional theories about grief and bereavement have been fundamentally and thoroughly challenged, primarily by Stroebe and Stroebe (1987), Wortman and Silver (1989), and Bonanno and Kaltman, (1999). In contrast to the old grief work perspective with its working through, depression, social disclosure of distress, and termination of the relationship to the dead, a completely different new perspective focusing on repression of depressive emotions and thoughts, display of positive emotions, moderate social disclosure, and continuation of the relationship to the dead has been proposed and scientifically supported. Still, the grief work perspective is very popular. In this article, both the old and the new views are challenged, and a more moderate perspective is suggested. Rational and irrational reasons for the old perspective's popularity are suggested. Consequences for therapeutic work (psychotherapy, counseling, nursing) are outlined. Finally, it is underlined that grief may be a meaningful, enrichening experience.