A dissection of intimacy: a study of "bipolar posturing ' in Japanese social interaction- amaeru and amayakasu, indulgence and deference.

This paper inquires into a "peculiar' form of Japanese intimacy - one that is manifested in a distinctive pattern of social interaction and which in turn is believed to be a retention of a mode of interaction between parent and child. This pattern is comprised of two complementary postures that prescribe, respectively, an individual to indulge himself in love (amaeru) or to defer in love (amayakasu). By "stepping in and out' of these bipolar postures, the Japanese individual is given the opportunity for self-assertion (the aggressive pole) on the one hand, and of altruistic self-withdrawal (the passive pole) on the other. This pattern of interchangeable posture is subsequently inferred to extend beyond intimacy and into formal interactions via tanomu ("ritualized indulgence') and enryo ("exaggerated deference'). This study concludes with the suggestion that since amae is demonstrated to be an empirical presence influencing Japanese basic social perception and behavior, its bipolar posturing might be employed as a distinctive variable in clarifying some paradoxical aspects of Japanese culture and people.