| 1 | Attended COVID-era funeral physically in-person | I’ve attended 5 funerals in NSW during COVID. Three in person and two ‘virtual’‘I have had a funeral during COVID the lady didn’t want too many at her funeral prior to COVID so we thought (sic) she got what she wanted’‘I have been to a couple of funerals during COVID and also been privileged to accompany a burial after the funeral through a webinar for my aunt’ | n = 59 (28.92%) |
| 2 | Attended COVID-era funeral virtually | ‘I watched/streamed the funeral of a patient of mine who died during “Covid”....it appeared to be a cold, stark and empty ceremony. Yet another sad memory for some family members who may have already been struggling during Covid’‘I had a young nephew die during the covid period it was very to hard sit at home and watch his funeral on my T.V. and not be able to be with my family’ | n = 98 (48.04%) |
| 3 | Unable to attend a funeral during COVID times (due to restrictions) | ‘My children’s paternal grandmother recently passed away and it was live streamed as the funeral was in NSW and my children are in Qld, so no border crossing’‘my close friend’s parent died overseas in their home country, she had no way to travel and attend the funeral due to Boarder (sic) closure’‘I found it sad that so few could be there. Even sadder that his wife of over 50 years could not attend as she was sick!’ | n = 42 (20.59%) |
| 4 | Attended COVID-era funeral as a celebrant | ‘I have officiated one funeral during COVID-times which was extremely challenging for the family and a very different way of my doing my job’‘A dear friend’s husband died suddenly and I was asked to bring the ceremony together. We could only have max 10 people at the service (plus me celebrant and funeral directors)’ | n = 13 (6.37%) |
| 5 | Vicarious report of specific COVID-era funeral experience | ‘Friends have had to do so and declare that it was challenging not being able to express their grief and sympathy face-to-face through words and a warm embrace’‘have heard of a family situation overseas, where due to COVID a lot of people didn’t attend the funeral and there were a lot less family visitors, which made the coping a bit harder for the family of the deceased’ | n = 35 (17.16%) |
| 6 | Funeral/Memorial postponed until later | ‘The plan is to have a larger memorial later. But how long will the waiting be? In cultures where an extended wait is normal, I’m assuming it doesn’t feel like the process is suspended. I’m wondering if these postponements suspend the grieving too?’‘We will have a memorial “party” for Dad when COVID restrictions ease and we are able to properly celebrate him, with the wider community, as he deserves’‘The most saddening thing about COVID is when families may decide to delay a service for 12 months or so until after COVID therefore there is no ritual or current ceremony to honour that person at the time. This is critical for bereavement and grief’ | n = 22 (10.78%) |
| 7 | New/adapted mourning rituals created | ‘We had roses in a basket next to the coffin. We place a rose in turn for each family member, including those who were live streaming, saying their name as we placed in on the coffin’‘His funeral was the day that year level went back to school. The school decorated paper flowers with messages and decorated the fence. Anyone who wanted to could stand at the fence to be there when the cars drove past’‘…an informal service held at his farm with just close family with him. He was able to go for one last ride around his farm on the back of his ute and was then farewelled by his community who parked along the road to his property and farewelled him as he left the farm for the last time’‘… the family as a ritual placed a flower on every chair and spoke the name of the person who would have attended so they were included in the ceremony that was being live streamed. Very touching…’ | n = 27 (13.24%) |
| 8 | Positive emotional reactions to COVID-era funeral changes | ‘… lovely part has been the very real intimacy of the service, has made it more relaxed and gentle’‘I found it was a better experience that (sic) I anticipated, and delighted in the posts which were available for all to read and reminisce’‘I had 2 family members pass away and was able to attend their funeral virtually. I found this a way of letting family know I was thinking of them’ | n = 70 (34.31%) |
| Subthemes positive reactions |
| 8a | Virtual option gave chance to attend when would have otherwise missed out due to restrictions/distance | ‘the funeral was broadcast live to my relatives is in Ireland which was great for them to be able to participate in the ceremony.’‘My auntie passed away in May 2020 in Auckland NZ and I was in lock down in Sydney where I live on my own, so I watched her service’‘The church live streamed the funeral service so that people could watch it remotely. The nursing home where mum did volunteer work put it on for all the residents up there as they were in lock down’‘It was live streamed, which turned out to be good because those that wouldn’t have been able to attend, regardless of COVID, could be part of it.’ | n = 58 (28.43%) |
| 8b | Increased intimacy of smaller funeral | ‘It was actually quite lovely as the family were able to focus on each other and their grief, rather than needing to “look after” all the other mourners.’‘Even though it was a small funeral it was intimate and cozy and I did my absolute best to reach out through the camera to include everyone who was watching’‘Alternatively, a smaller more intimate ceremony may be preferable to some families’ | n = 20 (9.80%) |
| 9 | Negative emotional reactions to COVID-era funeral changes | ‘The hardest part was that once the funeral screening ended there was no wake. It felt like a very abrupt end, especially because I was watching it alone (but on the phone to my mum, we were shut out from the funeral by closed borders in each of our states!)’‘My heart broke as I watched online, my friend and her husband and their five children, all wear masks and have to sit in separate church pews’‘they are so sad knowing the resident their family/culture the church/chapel should be packed, seeing family members sitting so far from each other’‘Some felt it lacked the “fan fare” she deserved and fell a bit flat. It didn’t feel grand enough or symbolic enough. This has stunted the grieving process for some.’ | n = 129 (63.24%) |
| Subthemes negative reactions |
| 9a | Limited attendance numbers | ‘We were forced to write a list of people who could attend due to the limited numbers allowed. This was very upsetting and my family felt terrible having to turn people away.’‘we had to restrict numbers to his funeral and wake...so made us think about who he was closest to as had to limit numbers’‘have seen first hand how difficult it is for families to say goodbye to their loved one, without those who would normally be there to support them’‘I remember at the end of the funeral feeling sad as the coffin went by an empty room…’ | n = 106 (51.96%) |
| 9b | No physical comfort/touch/hugs | ‘Hugging is such a part of how we show of support and love, that this affection and comfort has probably been the most distressing element to have restricted.’‘My grandmother was completely inconsolable at points in time, and it was so unnatural that we weren’t meant to hug or touch her’‘the situation has deprived our family of close human contact and the reality of his death seems only to be “virtual”’ | n=61 (29.9%) |
| 9c | Technology glitches | ‘My aunts’ funerals were streamed online so extended family could watch, but there were many technical issues with sound not working, the picture being out of sync, and viewers having a really limited view of what was going on’‘The camera was at the back of a large community hall and even though I have a speaker system attached to my computer, I struggled to hear the celebrant and the person giving the eulogy, which was disappointing’‘..seemed to be looking at the back of people’s heads mainly and both had technical problems which detracted from the flow and mood created’ | n = 10 (4.90%) |
| 9d | Impersonal voyeurism | ‘I felt that I was looking in from the outside and no real connection to what was happening. Funerals always leave me with a certain amount of emotion - this one just left me feeling empty’‘Watching livestream of a recent funeral was uncomfortable for me. I felt like I was intruding on the family rather than supporting them’‘The first funeral was of a long time friend of my deceased father in a setting with a camera angle only on the coffin. There were no people allowed and stories were read by a faceless person’ | n = 19 (9.31%) |
| 9e | Unable to say a ‘proper’ goodbye to help grief | ‘seen how families have struggled with the small numbers attending and fear the frozen grief that many are experiencing’‘In cultures where an extended wait is normal, I’m assuming it doesn’t feel like the process is suspended. I’m wondering if these postponements suspend the grieving too?’‘it was a beautiful funeral however not being able to hug, hold, reminisce left me in tears and a sadness that lingers’ | n = 57 (27.94%) |
| 9f | Virtual option feels less real, not same emotional connection | ‘Watching the funeral through media makes it feel more disconnected.’‘I recently attended a virtual funeral for an unexpected death, still upsetting but a feeling of being somewhat removed from the whole thing’‘....Chairs stretched out across a bare room, virtually cast out to people I couldn’t see or connect with, scattered faces in the room lost for connection and solace. As humans we need connection ....’ | n = 36 (17.65%) |