Can men mentor women in the #MeToo era?

There was a wonderful essay recently published in The Journal of the American Medical Association (Byerley, 2018) that raised an issue we would all be well advised to consider. Specifically, can men safely and appropriately mentor women in these highly charged social times? Many women have recently, bravely, come forward to identify men in positions of authority who have abused them sexually and/or emotionally. Obviously, these instances of abuse are unacceptable and require immediate serious consequences for the proven abuser and a dramatic change in attitude and behavior to prevent recurrences.

The issue that Dr. Byerley raised in her Journal of the American Medical Association article concerns the potential unintended consequences of efforts to obviate the future abuse of female physicians. Will male physicians become frightened to hire or mentor women for fear that if male physicians in positions of authority communicate or behave in an innocent, but perhaps immature or socially awkward manner, the male perpetrator might be misunderstood and/or misrepresented, potentially harming the male mentor’s own career? Furthermore, if such concerns materialize, will women lose opportunities for advanced employment and mentoring?

Many years ago, a close relative of mine (an executive in the entertainment industry) shared with me that he tended to hire only male assistants. He communicated with me that he had seen too many of his peers accused of what he presumed to be innocent, but misinterpreted, inappropriate behavior. Knowing him to be an ethical individual, my concern at that time was for all the potential female assistants he might have hired who, because of his fear of being misunderstood and wrongly accused, had lost out on a professional opportunity and skilled mentor.

In my career, I never benefitted from the support of a female mentor due to my age cohort and the paucity of women available to mentor me. My mentors in life were my dad, who encouraged me to follow career paths that were rarely available to women in post-WWII America, and then my husband, who has supported my career on every level. In my long career at the University of Connecticut, I have worked for many deans; however, one in particular, Peter Deckers, advanced women when given the opportunity. Since stepping down from the Chairmanship of the Dermatology Department at UConn Health, I now work for a brilliant man, Bruce Strober, who is sensitive to female issues and very invested in advancing the careers of women in our department. My former dean and my present chairman never made me feel uncomfortable and always displayed sensitivity, concern for the issues unique to women faculty, and a desire to promote women when both possible and appropriate.

From my personal perspective, men often make fabulous mentors and we must not allow their fears of mischaracterization to deprive us of their mentorship and encouragement. Somehow, we need to make these good men feel safe with us just as much as they need to make us feel safe with them.