I am just a 'maae' (mother): experiences of mothers injecting drugs in Thailand.

Mothers who use drugs face much discriminatory action as society in general finds female drug users' modes of caring for their children unacceptable. In this article, I explore the ways in which Thai women's injecting practices revolve around the role of mother 'maae' and the ways they employ tactics to challenge the motherhood discourse. This article draws on in-depth interviews with 30 Thai mothers injecting drugs. Thai mothers injecting drugs struggled with stigma and self-blame. They internalise the values of the mother 'maae', that is, what the mother is supposed to be; attempting to combine their drug use with their parental responsibilities. Having a child is treated as a means for many women to manage the hostile social impacts of being an addict mother as well as anxieties about the future of their children. To maintain identity as a mother, as gender norms dictates, the mothers employ several tactics to defend that identity from the threats. In conclusion, the findings have implications for harm reduction and reproductive services for women using drugs in Thailand; health care providers need to appreciate the ramifications of the lived experiences of the women who take drugs.