You can't hide the bridges.

After witnessing a man commit suicide during residency, I struggled to reconcile the trauma itself, my own competence, and multiple boundary issues I was exploring as a newly minted doctor. My powerlessness in the face of inevitability challenged my sense of capability to fulfill the very calling that brought me into medicine in the beginning-to help fix important problems in the lives of my patients. In the aftermath, I chose to remain connected to the experience in the way I honor him still today.