"Eyes that don't see, heart that doesn't feel": coping with sex work in intimate relationships and its implications for HIV/STI prevention.

Partner communication about HIV sexual risk behaviors represents a key area of epidemiologic and social importance in terms of infection acquisition and potential for tailored interventions. Nevertheless, disclosing sexual risk behaviors often presents myriad challenges for marginalized couples who engage in stigmatized behaviors. Using qualitative data from a social epidemiology study of risk for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) among female sex workers and their intimate, non-commercial male partners along the Mexico-U.S. border, we examined both partners' perspectives on sex work and the ways in which couples discussed associated HIV/STI risks in their relationship. Our thematic analysis of individual and joint interviews conducted in 2010 and 2011 with 44 couples suggested that broader contexts of social and economic inequalities profoundly shaped partner perspectives of sex work. Although couples accepted sex work as an economic contribution to the relationship in light of limited alternatives and drug addiction, it exacted an emotional toll on both partners. Couples employed multiple strategies to cope with sex work, including psychologically disconnecting from their situation, telling "little lies," avoiding the topic, and to a lesser extent, superficially discussing their risks. While such strategies served to protect both partners' emotional health by upholding illusions of fidelity and avoiding potential conflict, non-disclosure of risk behaviors may exacerbate the potential for HIV/STI acquisition. Our work has direct implications for designing multi-level, couple-based health interventions.