'Then I just showed her my arms . . .' Bodily sensations in moments of alienation related to self-injurious behaviour. A hermeneutic phenomenological study.

People committing self-injurious behaviour are often perceived as difficult patients; confronted with unhelpful reactions from nurses, the patients find themselves left alone in their distress. A connection between self-injurious behaviour and feelings of alienation is suggested in the literature. Alienation is described as a state in which the self is perceived as strange, machinelike and not in contact with its emotional and physical needs. On one hand, complex neuro-biological processes are seen as responsible for this; on the other hand, alienation is seen as a means of self-protection when one is exposed to a threatening or traumatic situation. Nursing interventions focus on the nurse-patient relationship and on the handling of self-injuries, but they tend to ignore the client's previous experience. Proceeding from the assumption that patients committing self-injurious behaviour are the experts on their own harm, the purpose of the present study is to get insight into their 'lived experience' and to contribute to the understanding of this vulnerable group. Adopting a hermeneutic phenomenological research perspective, methods of participant observation and qualitative interviewing were chosen to generate data. The database consists of 99 observational sequences, five interviews and a set of email texts written by a self-injuring woman. A thematic analysis as described by Van Manen was done. The main findings are that alienation is experienced in several stages, that nurses can detect early signs of an impending loss of control, and that self-injurious behaviour is an effective strategy to end a painful experience of alienation. Self-injurious behaviour is appropriately understood as a form of 'self-care'.