Gay male couples: the importance of coming out and being out to parents.

This exploratory study applied grounded theory methodology to examine what coupled gay men thought were the relationship impacts of being out to parents and in-laws. Data were collected from an accidental sample of 40 men in 20 homosexual couples using a standardized, open-ended interview. Virtually all of the respondents who had come out to their parents experienced initial and ongoing parental and in-law disapproval for their lifestyles and relationships. However, most men believed that it benefitted their unions to be out to their parents and partner's parents. Not having to hide the relationship was seen as a primary relationship advantage. Inclusion of one's partner in family events also emerged as a significant benefit. In contrast to the existing literature, a large proportion of respondents believed that parental/in-law antagonism had no adverse impacts on their dyads. They shielded their relationships by maintaining a strong sense of independence and in turn solid intergenerational boundaries. This study provides evidence to suggest that disclosure of sexual orientation to parents may be a distinctive, important developmental task for gay men which is critical to their relationships with their partners. Based on the findings of this research, mental health practitioners would be advised to assist gay men in the establishment and maintenance of strong intergenerational boundaries to protect their unions from parental/in-law disapproval.