Skewed autonomy-relatedness in preadolescents' conceptions of their relationships with mother, father, and best friend.

Healthy adaptation within all close relationships--whether with parents, friends, or romantic partners--involves striking a balance between connectedness to and independence from the relationship partner. For some individuals, adaptation within one or more relationships is skewed, or characterized by either an excessive concern for closeness that impedes autonomy (preoccupied stance) or an excessive concern for autonomy that inhibits closeness (avoidant stance). In this study with boys and girls aged 9-14 years, children who reported a preoccupied or avoidant stance toward their mother displayed increased social impairment in the peer group over time. There were predictable associations among children's stances toward mother, father, and best friend. Children resembled their best friend in relationship stance. The study illustrates the advantages of applying common relationship constructs (e.g., autonomy-relatedness) to the study of diverse close relationships.