Maternal responses to the life and death of a child with a developmental disability: a story of hope.

Losing a child is probably the most devastating event that a mother can experience. When a child with a developmental disability dies, this painful loss may follow months or years of exhausting parenting. How do mothers of children with developmental disabilities respond to this dual loss (the loss of their ideal child and then the loss of their actual child)? This project used a semistructured interview and the Grief Experience Inventory to explore the bereavement experience of eight mothers who have lost such children. It explored variables that are associated with optimal or complicated bereavement. It was found that most of the mothers were very successful in using cognitive coping strategies to find meaning and benefit in the life and death of their children and were able to continue seeing the world as benevolent and purposeful. Exceptional cases are discussed, and implications for helping professionals are offered. The findings of this study fill a significant gap in the theory of parental coping and bereavement.